(This is part 2 of How to Get a Girl Who’s Better Than You. Part 3 is How Becoming a Disciple of Jesus, NOT a Pretender, Helps You Win at Life and Girls)
Guys, if you want to win the girl of your dreams, you have to make an important choice.
There’s a price for every great conquest. We’re not talking in your wallet or your soul. The blood loss in this conquest is metaphorical and the most you’ll have to pay for the right girl is a few dates along the way.
But if you want to win her heart, you’ll have to pay everything that makes you who you are right now.
It’s going to cost you.
The only way you’ll get and keep the woman of your dreams is if you become the man of HERS. That man is a hero. He’s a Boss. He wins the day. And while it helps to be good-looking and have biceps the size of small planets, what she’s really looking for takes longer and more pain and decisive action on your part than heading to the gym every Saturday morning.
What she’s really looking for is CHARACTER, a man she can build a future with, brick by brick of love and devotion and commitment and security. Smart, godly girls who are reading right now are nodding. The slower ones are smirking or giggling because they’d actually like tattoo’d Rico Suave to sleaze in on a motorcycle so they can ride piggyback, but then after a week they’d mysteriously move on because something is missing.
That something is their REAL fantasy. Not the Hollywood one they’ve been programmed to accept. No, deep down every woman is a little girl who dreams about family and grandkids and wrap-around porches, picket fences, and a home they can decorate with an adoring male as the mantle piece who never leaves and fits the place they’ve carved out in their hearts. The one they built with Raggedy Ann’s and Andy’s on Saturday mornings since childhood.
That’s the one you have to work for. That’s what you should spend your Saturday mornings building, and Sundays and Mondays.
Because you can be that guy. The REAL dream. And the secret to how is the unsexiest and the sexiest one in the world. One every mature woman I know drools over.
See, as girls get older, a funny thing happens. Quilts as I call them (quality mates — in this case guys) get more and more scarce; women know this and shudder. The hot guys’ hair falls out. The planet-sized arms turn out to be connected to pee-sized consciences. My hairline started the trek for the horizon and my physique became unspectacular long before I met my wife. All that Mach’ing in front of the mirror and grunting in the gym in my early twenties led to absolutely ZERO production in the wife department, but the man I built inside was a WARRIOR.
And the kind of woman you want is looking for this.
In fact, if she isn’t you don’t want her. Lay aside every girl who wants hot guys or designer jeans or facial expressions you have to practice for more than 1.2 nanoseconds in the mirror to win her. Just drop her on her butt, no matter how hot she is. If by your mid-20s you meet a Christian girl who’s still absorbed with this stuff, release her back into the wild. If she isn’t mature enough to figure out that means diddly squat for the long haul, she isn’t really YOUR dream girl, if you have the dream in perspective. She’s not the kind who will make a quality dove for a lifetime. Her desires, as well as everything else she’s invested in, reveal how quilt or superficial SHE is.
But there’s something I have to tell you.
You’re going to LOVE it.
Most guys suck. That’s it. It’s so easy. For some reason, as my Dad wisely points out, as you get older there are far LESS quality guys with their act together, Raggedy Ann and Andy fantasy material guys who have shiny armor for character, rather than Don Dorkos with dinged up slats and a host of innocent girls lying behind them along the trail.
That means the longer you’re serious about building your character, molding yourself into a specimen of a man who is grade A husband material, the more your stock goes up at the same time that the demand for guys like you is exponentially rising.
I hope you know your economics, because this news is gold.
Good husbands get snapped up and don’t return to the market (because they can actually handle their families), while Don Dorkos screw it up with girl after girl because they inevitably put themselves first. So a single guy like YOU finds himself in a unique power position.
You are in complete control of getting any awesome Christian girl you want.
You simply have to have the confidence to walk up to her and start talking, and here’s the most important part — the character to keep her thrilled she’s yours forever.
Don’t buy the lie it’ll be your personality that keeps her. You don’t have to worry about that even if you fancy yourself a bit of a dork. Buck up and go get her, if you have the character. If she’s mature and looking for the right things, your character will win her. Her character will keep her, and your character will make her glad she did. That’s how love is built. Do you see?
You will be surprised at the kind of girl you can get because there are so few guys who girls can depend on for 50+ years of fidelity and a lifetime of selfless love.
That is the secret commodity the really AWESOME Christian girls are all looking for. Here 99% of guys are running around trying to be smooth and spit game. Well, that works for naïve girls, but notice those guys rarely end up with girls who are really great. Even Christian studs often get dropped by the wayside for a guy you might call a PUD or a dork.
Well, be the dork. ‘Cause behind that pud-loving stuff is a smart girl who’s going for substance, not style points.
This is the sweetest message for all you good guys out there without much confidence. You are a hot commodity, but you have to believe it, go for a girl, and most of all, you have to build that internal WARRIOR of character long before you meet her.
Because that’s the secret. You’ve got to BE the real man of God a woman of God is dreaming about.
And you can’t fake that.
Most guys settle their standard of character far below what the girl of their dreams has set it at for the man of HER dreams.
And it is achievable for her to find.
The question is, will you be him or not?
It’s totally in your control no matter what you’ve done or how old you are, but you have to destroy that godforsaken foundation that’s anything less than the WARRIOR God meant you to be. You have to plow that up and start a foundation for a mansion an AWESOME Christian girl will be dying to make hers forever.
You won’t lay it in a moment. It takes years, maybe even decades, to build the kind of character she’s dreaming of.
And I’ve learned that character is built not in the big choices, but in the small moments, one choice at a time that seems not to matter but that shapes you, every day for the rest of your life.
That’s when you create your masterpiece. A painter ends up with art not in a couple lucky brush strokes, but in countless meticulous tiny touches.
Your girl is out there. She’s praying for the man of her dreams. Many are called, but few are chosen, buddy. She can be yours, if you build the internal WARRIOR.
You’ll never do it if you don’t start NOW. Make yourself that man. Settle for nothing less than the best for a lifetime of her happiness.
Make her dreams come true long before you ever meet her, and I guarantee you’ll both have a future worth waking up to.