Who is first?
I stood before 50 snot dripping energy drink addicted little monsters, teaching floor hockey to elementary kids. “I need a volunteer…” I declared. Before another word could form on my lips, hands shot up like they were competing for a winning lottery ticket. Pretty soon I had at least 58 hands to choose from. Children love to be first, they will push, pull, and tear to be first in line even before they know what the line is for!
And we never seem to grow up
Sadly this desire left untended, will grow like weeds in Florida’s wet season. Our methods become more subtle, but our heart remains. We want to be first! We want to be best!
One of the sharpest biblical blades these days seems to be men’s and women’s roles, cutting to the heart we have long forgotten. With the spirit of, whatever you can do I can do better, we move forward like two drivers racing like bumper cars on a time trial.
A losing Battle
This battle for dominant sex is one of the dumbest conversations we have. Comparing men and women’s abilities, importance and roles is like comparing the height of two ants in front of the Eiffel Tower. It is only by looking up and seeing where God is that we can have any perspective on where, or who, we are.
God is the Boss
Ultimately we can not understand authority or even properly discuss it without addressing our authority under God (or rather God’s authority over us), and the very nature of Jesus himself.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11
It isn’t even close!
We don’t finish the race seconds behind God, our authority isn’t slightly less than God’s. There is an infinite space that divides us, and He has outlined what leadership and authority really looks like.
Jesus the Misogynist?
The Bible expresses the hierarchy of a husband and wife clearly with the example of Jesus and the church. We all know what Jesus did and how he lived, and how he loved/loves. Oh how he loves!
Jesus laid down his life for us all, he washed feet, he defended and loved prostitutes. Jesus humbled himself, he was strong but not macho, he was THE Lord but never lorded over anyone.
Who WANTS to be the boss?!?!
Who in their right mind would prefer to have the shoes of Christ to fill, instead of that of his bride’s? You know a couple doesn’t understand authority when they are fighting over being in charge. They are fighting over the position of that of underneath the cross.
With GREAT misunderstanding of POWER comes…
Authority includes power, and power + human beings = corruption. God gives us muscles and we use them to hit, crush, murder, and rape. It is incredible our ability to misuse what God gives us. What many men have done in the position of authority from abuse, to simply misuse throughout history, is atrocious. That is why so many have rejected the idea of masculine lead. The model of patriarchy makes sense only when we understand the ultimate incorruptible authority of our Heavenly Father.
Upside down and still backwards
We look at hierarchy as high and low, important and unimportant, which our faith has no place for. Our faith places first last and switches them back again. High becomes low, and great becomes small. When you say, for example, women should serve beneath a man, what you are saying sounds wrong, until you understand that in our faith those who are above must make themselves the lowest. When your God made himself man to die cursed on a tree, there became no room for lording over, only laying your life down for.
We are all equal right?
This silly idea of equality has infected our minds like a cancer. It’s not that the heart behind equality is wrong, but the battle for it is foolish. Let me fight for you, I hope you will fight for me, and God will fight for all of us! How can we say that God made us equal when His creation is beyond measure?
It’s foolish to call us equal because there is no tape measure long enough to reach the beauty God has expressed in the Great feminine, the Strong masculine, and the complex combination that is in each of us.
High-archy?
Hierarchy is a poor word choice, and equality is a silly notion. If I am living for others I am not concerned with being equal but making others more. This is true in the battle of the sexes as much as it is in any category. We (men) shouldn’t be surprised when God uses women powerfully, part of our job is to raise women up, so that they are loved, and their gifts used as much as possible. God made women, as He did men, He certainly gave them as much of Himself and as many gifts as He did us.
Majestically different!
I don’t believe there are redundant gifts, but unique ones. There are some gifts and abilities in women that I have never seen (at least not to the same degree) in a man.
Men have been gifted with a special task of leadership and responsibility, but we do not get to redefine the terms that were defined by the nature of God and the example of Christ of what leadership looks like.
I’m a feminist!
I am in awe of women! Women are the sail that causes ships to fly above the water. They are the glue that ties us together in the darkest hours. Each one is unique and uniquely gifted, but all are gifted. I hope my wife feels the same about men, or at least this one, with both loving the other more than themselves. I feel God, after practicing his sculpting on men, did a special and amazing feat with women. After all, we guys were made from dirt, girls were made from guys, and I’m not sure which is worse.
Infinitely under our sculptor
We are certainly not first! God is the center, God is the height and depth. We are the specks. Let’s not fight for who comes in second place, but follow the example of God who being infinitely beyond us made himself below us to lift us up.
If you want to compete, remember Jesus is the standard of measurement.
What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
To answer your query of what is a favorite trait of the opposite sex, I love the way men are all Peter Pans at heart. Some in greater degrees than others, of course. Men seem to keep their boyish nature no matter what their age. They can live for today and take risks that make the world an interesting place and often keep us laughing. For example, a guy will scale a castle wall, just because it’s there and for the sport of it. This idea would never occur to a woman. They let us do the worrying for them, and they often crack us up with their superheroe antics, take Spiderman, for instance. Men feel an invincibility that lasts from boyhood that never dies. They will put themselves at risk but be protective of others, especially of the fairer sex. They’d take a bullet for a friend or loved one, without a second thought.
Thanks for the insightful message. I enjoy reading your blog posts.
Thanks Susan. My favorite thing about women is their ability to comfort and inspire, they know how to build up or break down a man more than another man could ever do. When we are down only they know how to lift us up. When they choose to lift us up we become invincible. I think that’s part of what allows us to have that Peter Pan, take on the world mentality! When a woman believes in us she makes us better.