Division is a cancer in a community, church, or family. And you need to know exactly how to stop it. — I was only a child. My family was fighting as every family does. Charged words were yelled. Doors slammed. Walls, both physical and unseen, went up in a family that had been united. How many of us have experienced this same crushing effect in our […]
Freaky Friday: Fall in Love With Your Spouse After — Not Before — You’re Married
The lights dim. The honeymoon romance is hot. Jimmy is a Christian stud, one in a million guy. Jenny is gorgeous, every hair perfectly in place, a smile always on her face, the kind of girl every guy wants. Everyone sighs. Why can’t we all have love like this? This is how it was meant […]
Why You Have to Be Gangsta to Make People Respect Your Words
Most people don’t care what you have to say. They hear advice all day, and your words are just chirping in the background of a world they’ve long tuned out. That’s why you need to do something bold, something unpredictable to get their attention. In the Godfather: Part 2, young Vito Corleone, played by Robert Dinero, shuffles […]
How Bullying Can Save Your Marriage
Nobody likes a bully. Not in a casual fling. Not in a friendship. Not in a budding romantic relationship. Not in an illicit I-don’t-know-what-that-was-but-I-hope-it-never-happens-again-ship. And certainly not in a marriage. Unfortunately, bullying tactics are just so darn effective. Psychologically, they work at manipulating another person to push him or her down and get one’s own way. Of course, they’re also destructive and damaging […]
The Times You Should Shut Up and Not Say Anything
Part of Christian maturity is knowing when to shut your mouth and walk away. A lot of it. Whole beatitudes are lined up along the back wall of your mind like homecoming dance outcasts in a high school gym, all hoping you won’t make a fool of yourself again this time. Lilies in a field somewhere in your imagination […]
The Art of Telling Someone Off in Christianese
Christians need help with confrontations. Let’s face it. There’s a lot of meanness out there. Most of the time we just sit and take it. Others, we walk away and complain to our friends. Rarely do we stand up and respectfully, firmly put someone in their place. But there are ways to avoid an emotional […]
How to Ask Forgiveness and Still Come Out on Top
Oh, did I lie about you behind your back? Sorry ’bout that. Slander your family name? Curse your children’s lineage? My bad. Expose your insecurities? Ridicule your flaws? Mock your existence? Sorry you took that the wrong way. Lighten up. Didn’t mean it. Just kidding. I’m sorry you got your feelings hurt. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, SORRY. […]
How to Turn Your Spouse From a Fire-Breathing, Evil Monster Into a Regular Person
I’m sure we’ve all seen the cliche. A couple screaming at each other — red-faced and angry, insults hurled in every direction, and one turns into a fire-breathing, evil monster and consumes the other. Or wait. A peaceful meal around the table, chatting over half sandwiches and pleasantries, a thinly-veiled accusation is suggested along with grey […]
If I Talked to My Wife Like the Church Liturgy Talks to God
Me: Enter the family room with excitement and the living room with thanks! Wife: Ok… Me: Most beautiful and ever loving wife, we are gathered here today to have a conversation. In this conversation our hearts will be opened and all our communications known, and from each other no secrets hid. Hear the thoughts of […]